An Italian cathedral will have to be purified after a couple of
goth rock fans had sex in a confession box.
The cathedral, in the northern city of Cesena, is no longer
considered fit as a place of worship and requires a special Mass to
restore its sanctity, church officials said.
The act which desecrated the church took place during a seven
o'clock service on Saturday morning.
A parishioner heard ''rustling and groaning'' coming from the
box and called the Carabinieri, who whisked the curtains aside to
find the pair of goths engaged in oral sex.
''We're atheists. Having sex in church is the same as doing it
anywhere else,'' said the pair, aged 31 and 32.
Cesena Archbishop Antonio Lanfranchi, who has scheduled a
'reparatory' service for Friday, described the couple's act as ''an
outrage of notable proportions which bespeaks unutterable squalor
and a complete lack of respect towards other people''.
That means leadership within the Southern Baptist Convention
declares women to fit to be president of the United States, but
unfit to be pastor of a local congregation. A woman can send troops
into combat to die, but cannot stand in the pulpit of a local
church and preach the good news of salvation found in Jesus Christ.
A woman can have her finger on the button that could launch nuclear
warheads, but cannot have her finger on the pulse of a local
congregation. A woman can occupy the oval office, but cannot occupy
the pastor's study.
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This is one of the most commonly asked questions about our beloved
musician Neil Diamond. The answer to this question is a definite
"Yes". He was born in 1941 in Brooklyn, New York to a Jewish family
of Russian and Polish background. In fact, one of his nicknames is
"The Jewish Elvis"!
As you may know, New York City has a high proportion of
Jewish residents, approximately 1,000,000 or 12% of the total
population. The New York City metropolitan area has a Jewish
population of close to 2 million. Brooklyn alone has a Jewish
population of approximately 500,000. So it is no surprise that Neil
is Jewish.
But what threw some people off was the fact that Neil Diamond
released 2 Christmas albums. But despite that, Neil claims to be an
observant Jew who attends synagogue on major holidays.
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Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses
advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said
that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination
according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any
circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned
by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's
funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share
that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to
defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them
that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of
debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of
the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my
neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I
smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem
is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take
offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male
and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A
friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally
obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle
room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden
by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear
gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them
to death at a private family affair like we do with people who
sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am
confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's
word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
Note to Stumblers:
Some comments criticizing this piece indicate that it was
"hijacked" from a West Wing episode. This is a chicken and
egg argument in my opinion. I don't really know which came first,
and frankly don't care. Below, for your enjoyment, is the clip in
question.
Humanists of Utah, an incorporated Utah non-profit corporation,
has a mission to promote the principles of Humanism, the history of the Enlightenment, the
philosophy of Liberalism, and the policies of
Progressivism. H E L P
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