You’ll find a lot of stuff you really should know, served up by Dave Barry in his very funny 1999 book, Dave Barry Turns 50 . Here are a couple of my favorites...

• People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.
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• You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
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• There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
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• People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
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• You should not confuse your career with your life.
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• A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
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• Your friends love you anyway.